problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
