I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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