She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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