Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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