you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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