the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
