check it out our google latitudes are spooning
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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