i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
