I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
