Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
