Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
be right there i have to get my cape
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize