he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
