This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
