good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I forget how to act sober
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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