I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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