she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize