would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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