Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
