those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize