it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
