My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
