Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
