I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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