Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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