and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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