You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
