I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
