guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize