false alarm. still invincible.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
