Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
