Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
