yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
