I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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