You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
