happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
