Soap is not a condiment
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize