Im at strip club and am horny
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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