He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
