I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
