Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
