Soap is not a condiment
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
