I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
