I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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