Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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