is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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