wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
