So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
