PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didn't shave. On purpose
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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