ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
