Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
