Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
