Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
