Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
