she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
