I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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