yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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