I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Randomize
