Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
