Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
