The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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