Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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