Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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