I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize