I'm eating all of the evidence.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we're making bets on your personal life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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