So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
