I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
