We named our party play list daddy issues
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
