do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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