Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
