I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
