So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
