Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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