Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
