My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
