His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
