i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
