girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
