Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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