oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
