Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
