It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
